Excerpt: G.I. Joe, you stand before this military court having been charged with multiple war crimes against the Nation of Gaming. You have led innocents astray with the promise of old-school arcade action, when all you have to offer is a tedious carnival of skill-free blasting. You have tormented the public with your appalling camera angles, and with teeth-grinding load times plucked from the days of the PS1.
Summary: My G.I. Joe collection includes a handful of losers--figures that I bought for a specific weapon, or who came free with a vehicle. Even the lamest of these cast-off chumps (like Tollbooth and Skidmark) are less of an insult to G.I. Joe's good name than this vaguely game-like disaster.
Review: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (Microsoft Xbox 360)
1 November 2009
Excerpt: Summer blockbusters may be fizzling away for the year with the season coming to a close, but that’s not stopping some familiar names from dropping onto the silver screen for a twentieth century reimagining. This latest effort modernizes one of the many treasured cartoon series I enjoyed prior to hauling off for school – the battle of red lasers versus blue lasers (lasers are the other half of the battle if you didn’t know): G.I. Joe .
Summary: EA has tried to put it’s fingers in too many pies with " G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra ". Rather than creating a product that works on each type of console, they’ve tried to harmonise the experience right from PS2 up to 360- which just doesn’t cut it anymore.
Even Worse than What You've Come to Expect from Licensed Games
22 September 2009
Conclusion: Concept: Massacre the G.I. Joe license with a crap movie ?tie-in ?game
Graphics: PSone quality rendered cutscenes look atrocious ?on ?HDTVs
Sound: A constant barrage of generic gunfire ?and ?explosions
Playability: I'd rather have a dental appointment than play ?this ?game
Entertainment: A terrible aiming mechanic, uncooperative camera, and the worst vehicle controls in years make this ?almost ?
Excerpt: To coincide with the release of the big screen movie, Electronic Arts releases G.I. Joe: The The Rise of Cobra for the Xbox 360, PS3, Nintendo Wii, PlayStation 2, DS and PSP. I was lucky enough, or unlucky depending on how you look at it, to review the Xbox 360 version of the game. G.I. Joe has come a long way since I was a kid; yet, I am surprised it has taken this long (45-years) for the franchise to hit the big screen.
Summary: You know those immature teen boys who fantasize about being a gynaecologist? The ones that tend to forget that not every patient is a supermodel? Well, reviewing games is a lot like that. For every awesome game, there are two or three stinkers. GI Joe falls squarely into the latter category. Frustrating “features”, complete lack of control, bland environments, repetitive gameplay, lousy graphics, substandard voice acting...the gang's all here.