Summary: Update (3/27/2013): After the RMA, I received a new HX850 with a their "new" fan curve. Turns out that the fan doesn't spin at idle-load and spins up loudly then turns off. Spoke with Corsair technician supervisor today, and he admitted that it's a known issue and they're upgrading me for free to an AX850.
Summary: product powered on one time before it DIED. professional series my ass. be very careful about this product, i read some other reviews about it being DOA and it appears to be moderately common. packaged pretty nicely.