Excerpt: Hey, Bvlgari Mon Jasmin Noir. Armani called. They want Idole d'Armani back. Wait — hold the phone! It's Estée Lauder . They're demanding their Sensuous Noir . Now all the lines are ringing, and it looks like it's a bunch of celebuscents. They're complaining you stole their jasmine-plum-sandalwood-patchouli secret formula! O.K., maybe I'm not being fair.