Excerpt: Because it didn’t screen for critics, and because of a water-main break in the only New York theater showing the film today, it took me three tries to see John Gulager ’s Piranha 3DD . That means I had to walk up to the ticket booth and say “One for Piranha 3DD , please” exactly 3DD times. That was three times too many.
Conclusion: If you enjoyed the hell out of 2010's 'Piranha' remake, if you thought that it was intelligent while pulling off the most absurd content you'd ever seen, then do not watch 'Piranha 3DD.' Everything that 'Piranha' got right in 2010, '3DD' gets wrong now. It's stripped of wit, charm, satire, social commentary and dignity. The one thing that '3DD' gets right is the transfer to Blu-ray 3D.
Excerpt: What’s the latest home video gimmick? 3D, of course. And what’s the leading genre for cheap thrills on a low budget? The goofball horror movie, right? So it makes sense – sort of – for an enterprising filmmaker to throw together a low-comedy fright flick with cheesy gross-outs and bouncing breasts. See, in 3D, those babies can bounce big-time.
Conclusion: I feel pretty silly for expecting Piranha 3DD to be more serious. The tag line promises double the action, double the terror and double the D’s. It delivers on all three categories: it’s bigger, badder, and more disgusting than the first one. Double…is just too much for me. It turned out to be 83 minutes of my life that I want back. If you don’t mind the blood (which I usually don’t) and want to see a lot of naked women, this is the film for you.
Excerpt: A new adult theme water park has just opened, The Big Wet Water Park. Owner Chet (David Koechner) has overhauled the park to include such attractions as water certified strippers, but his water source proved to be insufficient. So in order to get enough, he tapped into a local lake to provide the additional supply. But the lake he sourced happens to be infested with vicious, prehistoric piranha, so the park is soon to have uninvited guests.
Excerpt: “Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina.” – Katrina Bowden And to think that’s not even the worst line spoken in this movie. Piranha 3DD , or apparently Piranha DD depending on the version watched, is as rushed as they come. After a successful formula of boobs, teenagers, and hungry fish (this post- 1978 origina l), Lionsgate dumped this thing into theaters without so much as a whimper.
Excerpt: Piranha 3DD is nothing more than a flimsy excuse to watch dudes get decapitated and women whip out their gigantic breasts. It’s morally bankrupt and consistently depraved. It features the flimsiest of plots and skimpiest of tops, mashed together in an hour and twenty minutes of reckless, R-rated momentum. Little kids get massacred. A severed head motorboats boobs well after bleeding out, and Christopher Lloyd excitedly rambles about flesh-eating fish.