Excerpt: A new adult theme water park has just opened, The Big Wet Water Park. Owner Chet (David Koechner) has overhauled the park to include such attractions as water certified strippers, but his water source proved to be insufficient. So in order to get enough, he tapped into a local lake to provide the additional supply. But the lake he sourced happens to be infested with vicious, prehistoric piranha, so the park is soon to have uninvited guests.
Conclusion: If you enjoyed the hell out of 2010's 'Piranha' remake, if you thought that it was intelligent while pulling off the most absurd content you'd ever seen, then do not watch 'Piranha 3DD.' Everything that 'Piranha' got right in 2010, '3DD' gets wrong now. It's stripped of wit, charm, satire, social commentary and dignity. The one thing that '3DD' gets right is the transfer to Blu-ray 3D.
Conclusion: I feel pretty silly for expecting Piranha 3DD to be more serious. The tag line promises double the action, double the terror and double the D’s. It delivers on all three categories: it’s bigger, badder, and more disgusting than the first one. Double…is just too much for me. It turned out to be 83 minutes of my life that I want back. If you don’t mind the blood (which I usually don’t) and want to see a lot of naked women, this is the film for you.
Excerpt: Welcome to The Big Wet Water Park, a new "adults only" hot spot that's about to become one long smorgasbord for a group of hungry piranha! Biting off more than he could chew, the park's owner Chet (David Koechner, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy ) filtered in water from an outside lake. A lake, not surprisingly, that's filled with giant prehistoric piranha who love to snack on anything—and any one —soft and fleshy.
Summary: Can it happen again? One's initial reaction right off the bat after watching the seventy-minute-sans-credits Piranha 3DD might very well be "at least there's still some truth in advertising." Certainly, Piranha 3DD does present audiences with plenty of gratuitous nudity and excess violence, but it comes up short of meeting expectations for the former and topping the first movie in the latter.
Excerpt: “Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina.” – Katrina Bowden And to think that’s not even the worst line spoken in this movie. Piranha 3DD , or apparently Piranha DD depending on the version watched, is as rushed as they come. After a successful formula of boobs, teenagers, and hungry fish (this post- 1978 origina l), Lionsgate dumped this thing into theaters without so much as a whimper.
Excerpt: Piranha 3DD is nothing more than a flimsy excuse to watch dudes get decapitated and women whip out their gigantic breasts. It’s morally bankrupt and consistently depraved. It features the flimsiest of plots and skimpiest of tops, mashed together in an hour and twenty minutes of reckless, R-rated momentum. Little kids get massacred. A severed head motorboats boobs well after bleeding out, and Christopher Lloyd excitedly rambles about flesh-eating fish.
Excerpt: Splatter films aren’t alone in having reached a point where filmmakers seem content to serve up the vague rudiments of a story, relying on viewers’ recognition of the tropes and disinterest with the details. The worst modern rom-coms and dance films similarly coast on low expectations, a love of formula, and a sense that viewers will be satisfied if they get the handful of specific payoffs they came for.